Safe House
Setting Up Shop: Creating a Space for His Heart
Welcome, Friend!
I am so grateful you stopped by. If anything you read resonates with you, it would be such a blessing for you to reshare or post. But no worries if you don’t! It means more than you know, to me, that God nudged you over to this little corner here!
If this is your first time, I’d love to introduce myself. 👋🏽
I’m Gabby. And simply put, I’m a momma of two, a wife to an amazing man, and deep down — just a little girl who loves Jesus and wants Him to shine bright in her life.
My heart is for the young Christian wives who desire joy-filled homes and marriages handcrafted by our Heavenly Father.
I’ve been journeying through the passage of The Virtuous Woman.
And I’m so happy for you to read my new post: Safe House.
I pray it encourages you!
When I was a teenager, my mom and I would curl up on the couch and binge-watch HGTV like it was a sport.
Haha, I sure hope I’m not aging myself saying that…
But we watched hours of demolitions and makeovers.
And one of my all-time favorite shows was Divine Design with Candice Olson.
Iykyk.
She was elegance and creativity wrapped into one person.
She graced the TV screen with confidence, soft humor, and this uncanny ability to walk into a plain room and see what no one else could see.
Back then, I didn’t know what she was doing.
I only remember my fascination with her ability to see potential and do something about it.
I had no idea that those cozy afternoons with my mom—watching color palettes, transformations, and intentional design—would circle back into my life years later.
Not for interior decorating, but for my marriage.
And what always struck me about Candice was this:
She didn’t just decorate a room. She shaped the atmosphere.
She did so by her attention to how people lived, what made them feel calm or tense, and what they needed out of their space.
Sometimes, her humor made me doubt her process; but her reveals were always worthwhile in the end.
I didn’t realize it then, but that same idea would become the framework for how I see my own home now.
Not in the furniture. Not in the Air Wick fragrances or towel sets—though I love a good aesthetic.
But in the day-to-day invitations prepared by me — the homemaker:
The morning greetings. The conversations between the to-do lists.
The prayers spoken and unspoken while cooking meals. The way peace settles in the air.
Or the way my attitude and conversations shape the environment I invite others into when they connect their hearts with mine.
Especially the heart I’m so honored to prepare a safe place for — my husband’s.
And that’s what I want to chat about today.
✨Preparing a safe space for your husband’s heart to thrive in.✨
You were graced to build your house.
Creating safety in your home doesn’t require expertise—it requires wise planning.
Proverbs 14:1 says, “The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.” (NIV)
Building something takes vision.
It takes patience. It takes planning, resources, knowledge, and skill. In our human strength, it doesn’t happen overnight.
But in the strength of Christ—God can put His super on the natural.
And He can do exceeding abundantly above all we can ask or think.
Even more, let me remind you that He works all things out for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.
And here’s where my memory of Candice Olson returns.
Because creating a safe place for your husband is like setting up a room with purpose—with a vision and with a plan.
Where Do We Get Vision and a Plan?
From God. In His Word. And in His presence. Through His Spirit.
This is most accomplished through prayer, fasting, searching God’s Word for instruction, waiting for Him to speak to your heart, and worshipping Him.
Psalm 25:14 says, “The secret [of the wise counsel] of the LORD is for those who fear Him, And He will let them know His covenant and reveal to them [through His word] its [deep, inner] meaning.” (AMP).
God desires to teach us how to live in the richness of His word. We live, move, and have our being in Him. So, who better to seek wisdom from than the One who made marriage?
Proverbs 9:1 says, “Wisdom has built her house; she has set up its seven pillars.”
Wisdom is necessary for building a godly house because wisdom comes from God.
Provers 3:19 tells us, “By wisdom the LORD laid the earth’s foundations, by understanding He set the heavens in place.”
God used wisdom to create the very world we live in. With that in mind, what do you think He can do in your home? Or in your marriage?
His wisdom is full of splendor. He can demonstrate it in your home when you acknowledge Him and ask Him for wisdom.
It is part of His character—a quality of His Spirit —and He gives it freely to those who ask.
God’s Divine Design
I find it so unique that the title of the show was called Divine Design. I remember thinking on the reason for that name — and whether Candice picked it or those higher up.
But that’s just it.
God designed marriage to reflect the love between His Son, Jesus Christ, and His church (the bride of Christ). Any other version of marriage won’t live up to the richness of its design.
And that’s common strategy of the enemy. Attacking the design of marriage.
If he can tempt and deceive us into building our homes and marriages on a foundation that won’t last, then our work will cave in.
If he can tempt and deceive us into building our homes and marriages with ungodly motives and lies, then we’ll end up tearing down our work.
But when we surrender our heart and mind to God so He can transform our thinking, direct our paths, and give us strength for our earthly and spiritual assignment as His daughters — the work of our hands is long-lasting and durable.
The Right Space for Your Husband’s Heart
Often times, my husband asks me to pray for him. These times are not routine.
They are unpredictable. He may ask me to pray at the top of our day, in the middle of the day, or right before I put my sleep mask on.
He may ask me to pray before He leads worship. Or after He’s led it. He may ask me while I’m on the road. Or before he hits the road.
See, we don’t know how often our sweet sister in Proverbs 31, encouraged her husband. We don’t know how often he needed her.
But we do know her mindset and heart were to safely keep his thoughts and feelings between the two of them.
That takes the fruit of the Spirit. It takes wisdom. It takes obedience to God.
I can only imagine the faith walks she had to go on as God ordered her steps. She was a busy woman. Perhaps, she felt like she didn’t have time for the heart to hearts.
Or maybe she felt slighted that every time her husband needed her, she was there. But every time she needed him, he wasn’t as available.
These specifics, we will never know. But we do know that her heart was to do him good.
She didn’t have ill motives. She didn’t have selfish motives.
Her motives involved being his biggest supporter. His biggest fan.
She doesn’t want to see him down or having a bad day.
And we also know that her words were full of life.
Proverbs 31:26 reads, “She opens her mouth in [skillful and godly] wisdom, And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue [giving counsel and instruction].” (AMP).
My Beautiful Sis, the right space for your husband’s heart — is you!
Not a man cave. Not a video game. Not a night out with the boys. Though all of these could be nice opportunities for him to leisurely enjoy life.
But the space to encounter God’s presence and tender love—
the space to declutter his thinking —
and tear down the lies the enemy has attacked him with —
to step into the peace of God —
and to dwell in God’s joy and comfort —
is in your presence.
In your words. Your laughter. Your hugs. Your time.
— Because you’ve welcomed God’s presence and His wisdom into your everyday rhythms.
Your husband’s heart can safely pour itself out because He knows God’s Spirit is working in you.
God knows your husband. He knows what he’s carrying. He knows what will soften him, steady him, lift him, or simply make him smile.
You’re not doing this alone.
God is ready to help you create the kind of home that shows His craftmanship of bringing two people together for His glory.
Designing God’s Way
Now, I can only share how I designed my space.
I started in prayer.
I worshipped the Lord. Inviting Him to hear me sings praises to Him.
Some days I fasted. Seeking the Lord’s direction on adding to my husband. Not taking away from him. Helping him become the man God purposed for him to be.
This was my daily commitment. I desired to acknowledge the Lord in all my ways.
I desired to commit my ways to the Lord. I desired to take delight in Him.
This was the blueprint God gave me. Scriptures to renew my mind and heart.
Because I needed to obey God. To trust only Him.
Then, I, intentionally, lived in expectation for God’s presence.
I still do this to this day.
It’s something so life-giving to set your mind on the Lord.
While you’re cooking. Folding clothes. Cleaning the bathroom.
Feeding the dog. Getting the mail. Running errands.
Then, I set the space up. No matter where I am or what I’m doing.
Letting my good morning be filled with warmth and love.
Or perhaps a quiet morning, filled with peace and gentleness.
Maybe a quick chat before we leave for the day.
Or a small conversation after a long day.
And don’t be fooled. Sometimes, I have to tidy things up.
Reconciling after a disagreement because I let my emotions get out of hand.
Or decluttering my heart and mind in prayer before the Lord —
So that I don’t hold grudges or keep a record of wrongs. Because that’s not love.
My mindset was this: If I invite the Lord into my day, surely, He will show.
And I expect the Lord to knock at my heart every day. I wait for those special moments that His Spirit will fill my heart with God’s goodness.
I don’t want to miss a visit from Him because He comes bearing gifts every single time.
And He comes ready to help. To even take the load off my shoulders and give me rest. To advocate for me.
To give me strength when I am weak. To mend any brokenness I am experiencing in my heart. To restore my soul.
And when I let Him in, He makes my heart ready to be the safe place my husband needs.
❤️ Thank you so much for reading!
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This is beautiful and deeply needed. The parallel between setting up a physical space and emotianl space is really well done—especially the point that building with wisdom requires getting the blueprint from God first. What stood out to me most is how much clarity comes when we stop viewing emotional support as reactive and start seeing it as an intentional setup, like preparing a room before someone enters. There's such power in that shift from fixing momemnts to designing atmosphere.